How should a caregiver maintain a positive approach to care? Finding out that one of our loved one is living with dementia might be one of the hardest experiences you can undergo. How are you able to be cope when your family member is drifting away right in front of your eyes? The first thing you have to do is accept the changes that your loved one is experiencing. I know it’s easier said than done, but you have to learn to accept their new “normal” and see how you will be able to help them. In a recent video called “Challenging Behaviors” by Teepa Snow, I learned how to use a positive approach when dealing with a person with Dementia.

Unfortunately, we tend to be close-minded, when dealing with newly developed behaviors our loved ones experience. Which, this is something new to you as much as it is to them. We have to learn how to become open-minded as well as see, why they are developing these certain behaviors.  Those living with Dementia tend to remember older memories and lose their short-term memory. You have to realize they are doing the best they can to communicate with you. So, how are you able to help them?

Ms. Teepa Snow mentions in the video that we have to become “a really good detective.” When taking care of a loved one with Dementia, try to figure out what might be driving them, what you’re seeing, hearing and what they are feeling. Place yourself in their shoes and experience life in their eyes. When you take the time to do this, you instantly have an “A-ha!” moment. Try to refrain from judgment and understand the behavior.

We recently worked with a client to find placement in a memory care. The son kept saying his mom was “misbehaving” and “manipulating” him with false stories. He didn’t understand that mom was not manipulating him or lying. These “false stories” is mom’s new normal. These thoughts are in her head. She may be reminiscing on a memory that happened as a child; even if this means she is being mean.

I understand that having patience and understanding can be very frustrating, however, learn that your loved one may see life differently than you do and if you are not able to understand, try talking to someone that does. Dementia is not easy, but learn how to have a positive approach to what is happening to your loved one. Try to satisfy their needs to the best of your abilities. Learn as much as you can and figure out what is the need and how to meet it.

For more information, take a look at the “Challenging Behavior” video. Very informative and inspiring.