What is an effective way to build a relationship with your parent who has Dementia? There is no deeper love than the one you have for your parents. However, when you find out one of your parents has Dementia your relationship with them can completely change. You now have to learn new ways to connect with them and this can become challenging at times. When a person has Dementia, they tend to lose their cognitive abilities, along with other skills such as speech and mobility. This can easily become a determent to your relationship as you see your parent becoming someone else.

One, of the biggest reasons your relationship changes is due to the lack of understanding of the disease. Do your homework! Search and read all about the type of Dementia your parent has, and this can help you understand what is to come. Once you have gained an understanding, you should be able to build a sincere relationship.

There are a few ways you are able to build and preserve a relationship between you and your parents. Here are a few tips I found on www.nextavenue.org:

1. Set a positive mood for interaction: Your attitude and body language plays a huge part when interacting with your parent. Its always best to have a positive attitude and speak to them in a pleasant and respectful manner when visiting them.
2. Get the person’s attention: Try to limit distractions and noise. Try to find a quiet place when you are speaking to mom/dad. Make sure they are able to give you their full attention; address her/him by name, identify yourself by name and relation, and use nonverbal cues and touch to help keep him/her focus.
3. Listen with your ears, eye and heart: Always be patient when dealing with a parent with dementia. If they are struggling to answer, it OK to suggest words. Always strive to listen for the meaning and feelings that underlie the words.
4. Break down activities into a series of steps: It will make the activity manageable. Encourage him/her to complete what they can and assist him/her when needed.
5. Remember the good old days: Talking about the past is often a soothing and affirming activity. Many people with Dementia may not remember what happened 45 minutes ago, but they can clearly recall their lives 45 years earlier.
6. Maintain your sense of humor: Use humor whenever possible. People with dementia tend to retain their social skills and are usually delighted to laugh along with you.

If you’re a caregiver, you’re experiencing the stress of caring for someone who has dementia. You’ll become exhausted and find yourself arguing with your parent. You’ll also feel resentment towards your loved one because you are stuck caring for them whether its emotional or physical care. You’ll also resent other family members who are not helping you with the day to day caregiving duties. Furthermore, having a parent with Dementia can be a full-time job, however, remember there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

Some assisted living facilities provide secured units also known as Memory Care that allow others to care for your mom or dad so you to be a daughter/son and not a full-time caregiver. Most Memory Care Facilities allow respite stays and some have daycare, in the event you’re not ready to move your parent into an assisted living on a full-time basis.

Although family members do feel emotional and guilty, sometimes it is best to leave caring for your parents to experts, so you are able to build that relationship back up again with your mom/dad. Memory Care facilities are not only offering a secure environment for those who are exit seeking or wander but the facility may have a specialty to help those living with Dementia and/or have care staff that is trained to understand Alzheimer’s and dementia disease. Never feel guilty for doing what is best for you and your family.